Courageous Pauline Shields has waived her right to anonymity to recall how she was drugged and raped during a horrific six-year ordeal
A mum who was repeatedly drugged and raped as a child before giving birth to her attacker’s son has broken her silence after almost 25 years.
In an emotional interview, courageous Pauline Shields waived her right to anonymity to open her heart about her tortured childhood.
The mum of one, who was subjected to the depraved sex assaults at her family home from the age of eight, hopes by speaking out, she’ll help police snare the animal who abused her for six years.
Pauline was left sickened three years ago when she read that the man who abused her — who can’t be named for legal reasons — had raped a 13-year-old girl.
Having been jailed, he is now back on the streets of Gallowhill in Scotland, sparking Pauline to speak out to encourage other victims to come forward and help send him back to jail.
The mum of one, of Paisley in Renfrewshire, Scotland, said: “You don’t rape one child back in the 80s and then, 20 odd years later, decide to rape another wee girl.
“I’m positive that there are more victims who, like me, have been too terrified to speak out and that’s why I’ve now decided it’s time to tell my story.
“I want to give these victims a voice and say that we shouldn’t be ashamed, we shouldn’t be disgusted, we shouldn’t hate ourselves.
“What happened to us wasn’t our fault.”
Softly-spoken Pauline revealed that the tragic death of her mum, when she was just seven years old, left her vulnerable and exposed to the depraved teenage boys who ruined her life.
She told the Daily Record : “My mum died of cancer, my dad worked away for days driving lorries and I was left in the care of my older brother, who couldn’t have cared less about my welfare.
“I was a little girl, left in a house without any parents, which was regularly trashed and used as a drugs den by my brother and his pals.
“They would have parties where they would be taking any pills they could get their hands on, smoking weed, buzzing glue, gas and petrol and drinking.
“It was easier for them if I was drugged up too, so I’d often be fed diazepam tablets and left out cold in a corner.
“One time, when I could only have been eight or nine, I remember them shouting at me not to be sick as they’d given me so much to drink.
“When I did end up violently ill, they just rolled me onto a dirty duvet and dragged me through into my room so I was out of their way.
“It was such a horrible place to be.
“I would be abused mentally and physically all the time and they would kick my pet Jack Russell around and tell me to be quiet, or else they’d kill him.
“They even cut the head off my pet rabbit and showed me its body.
“The first time I tried to take my own life, I’d have only been nine or 10 and swallowed a pack of pills and a bottle of whisky.
“Even then, I recall thinking about who would protect my dog if I died.
“It was during those nights that the molestation started and, although everyone knew what was going on, they just didn’t care. They just wanted to take their drugs and get wasted.”
With her mum gone and her dad absent, vulnerable Pauline was left to fend for herself when her older brother was jailed.
Despite turning to the authorities for help, the horrific sexual abuse escalated at the hands of one sadistic paedophile.
Pauline recalled: “The first time I know I was raped, I would have been 11 or 12, although it may have happened before then when I was unconscious.
“My brother was in prison at the time and my dad had fallen ill with a heart problem. I was told to find out from one of my brother’s friends which jail he was in.
“I went to a house in Paisley and one of the guys who had molested me for years was there and he took me inside. He drugged me up like he’d done before, but this time he fully raped me.
“He told me that if I said a word to anyone about what had happened, he would shoot my dad and, being the type of person he was, I believed him.
“I signed myself into a children’s home in Paisley to try to get away from him, but he was a predator and would come to the home and sign me out.
“He would tell them he was a carer for me and I was too scared to tell anyone the truth, so I’d be taken to a flat, drugged on whatever he could get his hands on and raped over a weekend.
“By the time I was dropped back off at Chapel House children's home, I could barely stand. I would be sliding down the walls completely out of it, but, as long as I didn’t start any trouble and just went to bed, no-one said anything.
“That went on for a couple of years until I found out I was pregnant just after my 14th birthday.”
Pauline struggled with her secret as she was passed around the childcare system as a helpless mother with her young son, Daryl, while the rapist father of her child, who was in his 20s, served a jail sentence for a shooting offence.
As a teenager, she desperately tried to create a family environment for her baby boy, but was once again abandoned by those she needed the most.
Pauline said: “Back then, no-one knew what to do with a young mum in the care system, so social services basically paid my dad and his new girlfriend to take me back.
“They were given money to provide a bed, a cot and a carpet for the bedroom, but instead it was spent on an engagement ring and alcohol.